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holiday romance or fling

The December holiday season is peppered with festivities, celebrations and if you’re lucky maybe even a little love, especially if you are standing under the mistletoe. But if you’re single, what about a holiday romance or holiday fling?

Should you be excited when being asked out by that perfect stranger?

Holidays are all about, summer, sun and having fun so why not get excited about being asked out on a date or two? It’s naturally exciting when we meet someone new and there is the potential that this could lead to something more.

Here’s what you need to know to determine whether it is a relationship or just a holiday fling

There are many different factors that can play out either way so be aware of some of the telltale signs:

It’s just a fling It’s more than just a thing
  • If they only meet up with you when it suits them and are not interested in anything about your life or things you want to do, then chances are they are just in for a good time.
  • If one or both of you are on the rebound from a previous relationship.
  • If you are only hanging out at social events and not spending any alone time together, you may just be someone to hang out with than a potential love interest.
  • They’re just interested in one thing.
  • You’ve met each other’s friends and family and spend time with each other.
  • They don’t pressure you to have sex.
  • They make an effort with their appearance, going on dates, and really getting to know you.
  • They treat you with respect.
  • They don’t constantly talk about their Ex or past relationships.
  • You share common interests, values and lifestyle.

 

What is it about December that makes people want to be romantically involved and should you even consider it as an option?

Many people dread the thought of being alone on the holidays, being the ‘spare wheel’ at social events, when out with friends and family, or they are potentially dealing with a recent breakup and trying to get over their Ex and a distraction seems just the answer.

There could also be the chance that we want to portray a certain image whilst on holiday, especially when it comes to social media and wanting to create a perception that we are having the most amazing time with an attractive holiday lover and the things we are getting up to.

While it may be all exciting in the moment, you also need to be aware of how these potential ‘flings’ are likely to end.

In most situations, they tend to fizzle out after a period of time. If things start to lose steam in January, consider it to be a holiday fling and reflect on what brought you together in the first place – treasure the holiday memories and move on.

True romance will withstand the test of time, and not just your calendar so if you are still together after Valentine’s day, chances are it’s more than a fling.

What should you consider before getting into a situation with someone during this time?

Be conscious of what family and friends have to say about your holiday bae, they tend to be more objective and have your best interests at heart.

If you are from different towns or cities, consider that it will be harder to sustain a long-distance relationship (LDR) than if you were living in the same area.

Be clear on what your expectations are and what you are looking for when hooking up with someone over the holidays – a relationship or just having fun? Be sure to communicate this up front so you don’t lead the other person on.

Be aware of the things they tell you and whether things seem to “add up” or not. Listen to your instinct, if something feels too good to be true, it probably is.

Holidays can be fun and yes you can meet your prospective ‘happy ever after’ whilst out there soaking up the sun, after all who doesn’t love a holiday romance?

 

Paula Quinsee: Relationship Expert and passionate advocate for creating healthy relationships at home, in the workplace, and against GBV, to co-create a more human connected world and positively impact people’s lives. Paula is also an international speaker and author of Embracing Conflict and Embracing No.