Is It Time To Spring Clean Your Relationships?
Spring season has always been associated with decluttering, clearing out, spring cleaning and making space for the new.
This gives us wonderful opportunities to take stock of what we have, what’s working, what’s not working, what is valuable and what has passed it’s ‘sell by’ date.
It’s not that different when it comes to our relationships.
Some relationships are for a season, a reason or a lifetime and this can be applied to both personal or professional relationships.
When last did you sit down and take stock of the relationships in your life, the role that they play and the quality of the relationship? Do these relationships add value (i.e. they are uplifting, supportive, encouraging and motivating) or are they detracting value (i.e. full of drama, negativity, toxic and energy draining)?
Did you know that we become the collective sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with?
This is called our circle(s) of influence.
Think about who you surround yourself with in your personal and professional space. How are you being influenced by these people and vice versa, how are you influencing them? Positive? Negative? Adding value? Quality relationships and behavior?
There comes a time when you may need to apply a spring clean in this area of your life. Some relationships may have run their course – perhaps they were only meant for a season or a reason. And that’s ok.
Other relationships may need some ‘stock-taking’ and topping up to enhance their value – and this is where you have a choice. Are you prepared and ready to do the necessary in order to reap the benefits and rewards of the relationship?
Questions to ask yourself:
- How do I feel about this person/relationship – positive or negative?
- How do I feel after spending time with this person – lifted or drained?
- Do I feel I can trust this person – rely, depend, confide?
- Do I feel I supported in this relationship – emotionally, heard, accepted?
- Do I feel I can be myself when I am with this person?
- How do I contribute to this relationship – what value do I add?
- Is there anything I would like to change about this relationship?
Sometimes we may need to seek new relationships to help us grow and develop – mentors, role-models, professionals. They help us to see our blind spots, those behaviours and development areas that we are not consciously aware of and shift us into being better.
Just as Spring forms part of annual seasonal changes and brings with it new life and new beginnings, so too should we be looking at our own life, the season we are in, and what we need to do in order to shift into our next season.
Download the Relationship Evaluation Template here to help you spring clean the relationships in your life.
Paula Quinsee: relationship expert, Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict. she teaches individuals and companies tools and skills to immediately and positively enhance the quality of their personal and organisational relationships. She is a consultant to SA TV show “Married at first Sight”, conducts regular monthly workshops, writes articles for a number of platforms and hosts podcasts for Niche Radio and UK Health Radio. More info: https://paulaquinsee.com/