The 7 Key Relationships In Our Life

Our whole life revolves around relationships. In fact we were born to be in relationships and to have a connection with others – we are social animals by nature, we need to be social to survive and society determines our human personality. We actually start off our life in a relationship: i.e. our parents are in a relationship and we are conceived in a relationship.

We then have a relationship with mom whilst in the womb and through the umbilical cord. Not only do we get important nutrients and other such elements for our development, but we also start to feel emotion in the womb – especially pain.

There are 7 key relationships that play a significant role in our lifetime:

• Self

How we speak to ourselves, think about ourselves and treat ourselves lays the foundation for how others will treat us. Do you have a healthy or negative relationship with “self”? Are you gentle, kind and nurturing to your own needs or do you come down on yourself hard like a ton of bricks?

• Partner

Our partner provides a space for safety, love, intimacy, connection, support and more. If our relationship is not healthy, it will have an impact on our mental and emotional well-being. Healthy relationships does not mean there will be no conflict, rather a healthy balance where each one contributes equally to the relationship well-being in their thoughts, actions and behaviour.

• Family

We are then born into a relationship, firstly with our parents and then with our siblings if we are not the firstborn (ie our immediate family) as well as extended family (ie grandparents, cousins etc). Family provides support, a sense of belonging and identity as well as a place of safety. Family can have a positive or negative impact on our lives and sometimes boundaries may be necessary to keep negativity at arms length.

• Friends

As we grow and evolve through life, our friendships throughout school and university play a significant relationship role and influence in our life. Just as family can have a positive or negative impact on our lives, so too can friends impact our lives and boundaries may be necessary to keep them from affecting your relationship or leading you down the garden path.

• Peers

When we move into the working world, we have relationships with our colleagues and peers as well as our customers and suppliers, both internally across departments and externally. We get ‘branded by association’ so be aware of your personal brand and how your circles of influence are working for or against you.

• Spiritual

Our spiritual relationship is what feeds our soul and keeps us grounded – for some this may be religion, for others it may be activities such as meditation, sport, hobbies, getting away to the bush or the sea or just some quiet “me”  time.

• Money

Lastly is our relationship with money – we can have either a positive or a negative relationship with money. A positive relationship is one where we manage our money responsibly by taking care of our bills, putting savings away and managing our debt. A negative relationship is one where we are in debt, blacklisted, not able to pay our bills and are constantly living from month to month

Relationships drift and wane as individuals pursue their own interests and goals in life. Either the connection remains or it reaches the point at which it is no longer strong enough to sustain the relationship and it is time to move on.  This can happen in a number of ways: friendships end and people move, leave relationships and/or get divorced. Customers stop using your products/services or suppliers stop delivering or their contracts are not renewed.

Our priorities and outlook on life changes as we move through different life stages and experience life in different ways and relationships may come and go. What’s important to remember is that how you show up each day is how you co-create the relationships in your lifetime.

Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert, Tedx speaker and author of self-help guides ‘Embracing Conflict’ and ‘Embracing No’. Paula works with individuals and organisations to cultivate healthy relationships in both their personal and professional arenas by focusing on emotional skills and personal growth and development. She regularly appears in the media and consulted to ‘Married at First Sight SA’ TV show.