How often have you heard the words “we need to talk” from your partner and your blood has run cold expecting the worst?

Communication forms the foundation of all relationships (both personal and peer). Did you know that we communicate in several ways: 7% words, 37% tonality and 55% through our body language?

Now, most of us get caught up in our day-to-day routines experiencing stress and pressure at work, juggling career, family and home life, often at the detriment of our relationships which find their way to the bottom of our priority list.

The risk here is that couples can start to live separate lives under the same roof and eventually grow apart. This is a symptom of the typical relationship cycle that every couple experiences and if not managed, couples can find themselves in the divorce courts.

This is why many relationship coaches recommend date nights. It encourages couples to make time for their relationship and each other. Time away from distractions like the kids, tv, laptop, devices and other such things.

Whether this be dinner, a night out on the town or a stroll around the block, it’s important for couples to connect with each other and to maintain and nurture this connection on an ongoing basis. The deeper the connection, the stronger the foundation of the relationship, resulting in couples being able to resolve conflict and disconnects in a far more constructive way than where there is very little connection.

Couples that proactively look for ways to grow and develop for the benefit of their relationship and each other have a far higher chance of standing the test of time and creating a safe and nurturing environment for children to grow up in.

After all, if you don’t make time for your relationship, soon over time you won’t have a relationship.

A version of this article also appeared on W24.co.za

Paula Quinsee: relationship expert, Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict. She is a certified Imago Relationship Therapy Educator and Facilitator, NLP Life Coach and PDA Analyst and Coach. As a Relationship Expert, she teaches individuals and companies tools and skills to immediately and positively enhance the quality of their personal and organisational relationships.

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