After every down there can only be an up.

Sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan. You have this idea, about something that you want to do or achieve, and you put all your focus, effort and energy into it, and then boom! It backfires. Leaving you with waves of thoughts of ‘what if’s’ and an aftermath of emotions to deal with.

This happened to me recently. The plan didn’t go according to plan, which left me with a “now what?” situation. Not for one second did I think it wouldn’t go according to plan, in fact I thought it was a done deal I was that confident after all the preparation I had done leading up to my goal. So what does one do?

Well, you stop looking back. You stop over analyzing. You stop asking yourself ‘what if’? You pick yourself up, you forgive yourself and you focus on the next goal.

There is no such thing as failure – only feedback. The greatest growth comes from the insights you get from the experience and how you apply this new found knowledge to help you move forward.

Failure is not final. It’s a second chance to start over and to do things differently. It gives us wisdom and experience. It gives us insight and knowledge. It gives us the ability to dig deep within ourselves and to tap into our inner knowing and being.

It guides us to look at a situation from a different perspective. One where we can ask ourselves questions: did we do our best, was there anything else we could’ve done, was there anything we could have done differently, how badly did we want the goal in the first place, what will achieving this goal do for us, how will it make us feel and is it worth the hard work and sacrifices we need to make to get it?

Knowing the answers to these questions assists us in better decision making and whether these goals are in line with our divine truth. It also builds our resilience to manage set backs more effectively and to not be afraid to try again.

Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert, Tedx speaker and author of self-help guides: Embracing Conflict and Embracing No. She works with individuals and organisations to cultivate healthy relationships in both their personal and professional arenas by focusing on personal growth and development, emotional skills, behaviour profiling and much more

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