7 keys to getting the best out of your relationships
When we hear the term relationship, we often associate it with relationships of a romantic notion rather than relationships in the workplace.
Perhaps that’s because relationships in the workplace are mostly referred to in a team format, as a mentor role or networking forums. The reality is that they are all relationships, it’s just the level of emotional energy and connection that differs between the two.
Never before has the cliché’ “it’s not what you know, rather who you know” been more apt than now – relationships are the currency of the future, relationships are the new black.
Especially where smaller businesses and start-ups are concerned – collaborative practice is becoming the norm. In days gone by this was commonly known as JVs or partnerships.
Today businesses are looking for ways to collaborate together to form an even stronger product/service offering than as a standalone business. As they say, there is strength and safety in numbers. Call it innovation or creative thinking, the bottom line is how do you move with the times and still remain relevant?
Technology has changed the way we host relationships in both our personal and professional capacity. Teams are now becoming global and are situated in all corners of the world, we use social media to keep up to date with friends and family around the globe and we make us of quick messages to our dearly beloveds to collect bread and milk on their way home.
The truth is there is no cut and dry black and white distinction between work and our personal lives, whether we like it or not, we take work home and we take home to work – and this has an impact our performance whether we admit it or not.
If we’re going through a tough time at home, it can affect our focus at work, if we’re under pressure at work, we can be distracted and not fully present in our relationship at home. In both instances emotions are what drive our thoughts and behavior and it’s our emotions that we need to control in order to survive and thrive in our relationships. Some call this personal mastery, others self-control but at the end of the day emotional intelligence is key to both our personal and professional relationship well-being.
We often review our working environment through tools such as performance appraisals, 360 reviews and the likes but we seldom review our personal relationships in a similar vein. No surprise then that the divorce rate is currently sitting at the level it is.
If we want our relationships to perform at the level we expect, then we need to put the same amount of energy and effort into them irrespective of whether it is a personal or professional one.
The Relationship Perform Model is a great tool consisting of the 7 keys to getting the best out of your relationships and can be applied in both personal and professional relationships:
| Relationship Perform Model – 7 keys to getting the best out of your relationships | |
| P – Positive | Where are you at in your head:
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| E – Environment | Situations don’t just happen to us, we co-create them through our thoughts, actions and behaviours.
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| R – Resolution | How is conflict resolved?
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| F – Focus | Are both parties focused and aligned on the same goals and outcomes:
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| O – Opportunities | Over time relationships can get complacent, where are the opportunities for improvement?
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| R – Respect | How are both parties respecting the relationship?
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| M – Measure | The value you place on the relationship will determine how long the relationship will last
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As a Relationship Expert and author of Embracing Conflict, I understand the dynamics when it comes to relationships and how quickly things can go wrong.
If you are looking for a supplementary program to your existing Training and Development or Work Readiness program for graduates and young professionals, I’d be happy to have a discussion with you as to how to build happier and healthier relationships for individuals and the organisation as a whole.
Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert in Johannesburg. She teaches individuals and organisations how to cultivate healthy relationships in their personal lives and workplace using EQ skills, Imago Therapy and NLP principles. Paula is also the author of Embracing Conflict – a self-help guide filled with practical tools and insights. Attend one of her regular monthly workshops for great empowering tools.