I often get asked the question “what is a healthy relationship” and it’s not what we think…..
Many people believe a healthy relationship is one where:⠀
- there is no fighting or arguing, ⠀
- you’re always loving and affectionate,⠀
- you’re having sex all the time,⠀
- you’re so ‘in love’ with each other,⠀
- you do everything together,
- you’re the perfect couple,
- you have the perfect life. ⠀
Sadly this is only true in the fairy tale books and movies, and it’s unrealistic to expect this, you’ll only end up being disappointed.⠀ ⠀
It’s also unrealistic to expect your partner to meet your every need, do what you want to do and have the same interests and ideas as you.
You see it is very normal and natural for a couple to have different views, opinions and ideas – you were both raised differently and have had different life experiences – and these differences can cause conflict in a relationship.
What is important in a relationship is that you create a space where you can both be yourselves, be individuals and at the same time co-create the “us, we and ours” which is where your relationship comes together.⠀
This is what is called the relational space, the space where you come together and co-create your relationship by how you show up for each other every day, how intentional you are and your willingness to find solutions and grow together.
So what are some of the key elements you should have in place to create a strong relationship foundation?
- Knowing and living your personal and relationship values (these protect your relationship and each other)
- Having a relationship vision that you are both working towards
- Knowing the red flags to look out for and how they can trip you up
- Know what your relationship currencies are (money is not the only way we contribute to a relationship)
- Establishing couples goals that keep you focused and on the same page
- Understanding the commitment you are making and what that means for you
When you have these core elements in place, and are intentional about being there for each other in a way that allows you to both remain individuals, and you are constantly contributing to the “us, we, ours”, your relationship can only grow from strength to strength.
If you would like to know more about these core elements and how to put them in place in your relationship to create a strong foundation going forward, have a look at the Relationship Journey Program here.
Whether you are single, at the beginning stages of your relationship, been together for a few years or are on the brink of staying or going, the Relationship Journey course will give you all the insights and tips you need to build a healthy and loving relationship.